Who ya callin Babe?!?!

Well, friends, I had this hillarious blog all typed up, but somehow in the process of posting it, it disappeared. Never made it to my blog, but left my computer screen. Not sure where it is. Even now, it may be floating somewhere, lost forever in cyber-space. But after all the typing, thought, and work I put into it, I couldn't get up the brain power to re-type it. So, I waited a few days before trying again. Although now, the incident, or adventure as I like to call it, is not as fresh in my memory. I'll do my best to re-tell it anyway. As you can see, there is a picture of a pig in this blog posting. Say hello to the pig that lives in my backyard. For the longest time I didn't want to name her, because that's the first step in getting attached, and someday she's going to be my breakfast (and lunch and dinner for like the next five weeks). Babe (like the pig from the movie if you recall), was just too sweet and personalized of a name for a meal. But after much deliberation, I came up with a name that will help to remind me of the impending purpose this pig will serve. From now on she will be Mancare (food, in Romanian). I call her Manny for short.:) OK. On with the story. This takes place several days ago. I had just returned from a much anticipated, and long awaited, morning run (the weather had been so horrible the last several weeks, that I had not been able to exercise.) As I was getting ready to heat up water for a sun shower, my host mom approached me, and asked me if I could help her with something. She doesn't often ask for help with anything, so I knew it was a big job whatever it was. I assured her that I could help, and she told me I should put on some clothes that I could get dirty in. She kept apologizing saying that she wanted her son-in-law to help, but he had to work (aside from the fact that he lives like thirty minutes away) I assured her that we were strong, independant, self-sufficient women who could handle "the job" without him. Though that's when I started wondering what I had gotten myself into. So, I donned some old jeans, and an old T-shirt. But after a quick inspection, my host mom ordered me to put on an old, dirty overjacket thingy because I still wasn't dressed down enough for whatever it is we were going to do. Then, I followed her out to the backyard. At the pig pen, I saw one of our neighbors. He was standing in the pen and holding a rope in his hands. He told me to climb on in the pen, which sounds simple, but really isn't. The opening to the pen is not very big, and is set pretty high off the ground. So, I had to stand on a wobbly log, and hurl myself up and through the opening. I made it in without any broken bones, but once in, found out I was tangled up in the rope the neighbor was holding. At that point, I'm sure he was wondering why my host mom had recruited me to help, but I was in the pen now. There was no going back. After untangling myself from the rope (which was again, no small feat, as the ceiling of the pen was very low, and I had to hunch over like Quasimodo the entire time I was in there), the neighbor handed me a part of the loop he had made at the end of the rope. I got the idea that I was to herd the pig toward the neighbor who was still standing near the opening of the pen. Mancare (the pig if you remember), obviously knew something was up, and she was in the back corner of the pen looking at us warily. I asked the neighbor if we were supposed to loop the rope around the pig's neck, and he just looked at me like I was a crazy American (which I guess I am, come to think of it), and said in an incredulous voice, "Not around the neck! In the mouth!" Of course! Silly me! I should have known that! In the mouth! Everybody needs fiber in their diet, and what better way than to eat rope! So, I started toward Mancare, who at that point decided she did not like what was going on. Have you ever watched a movie with a pig chasing scene in it? If you have, then you've got an idea of what I went through. There's the people trying to dive on a pig that's running like crazy, and of course, the pig somehow keeps slipping through their grasp, and they land in the mud, and the whole time, the pig's squealing like crazy. Yep, that was me. And believe me, this pig did not want to be caught. Somehow (and I'm still not sure exactly how) we were able to corner the pig long enough for the neighbor to throw the loop into Mancare's mouth, and over the top of her snout. I still have no idea why we're doing this, but I feel a sense of acomplishment that we've gotten this far. Then, they proceed to try to drag Mancare toward the opening of the pen. I had no idea pigs were so strong! Or so LOUD!!!!! If I thought she had been squealing before, I was now dumbfounded at the new level her squeals achieved! She sounded like a dying, tortured, agonized, suffering and terrified soul in hell! And she was as stubborn as a mule, digging her haunches solidly into the ground, and not budging an inch. She was probably having flashbacks to when her pen pal (yes, I said pen pal. She used to have another pig in the pen, but we had to slaughter it a while back. Like that play on words there? Yeah, I came up with that one all by myself. he he he) was slaughtered right in front of her. If ever a pig needed therapy, I'd say Mancare would be nominated. But they don't believe in that here. It's every pig for themselves here in Moldova. It took all three of us, my host mom, the neighbor, and myself, to drag, shove, pull, push, and force Manny to the opening of the pen. The whole time, she is squealing like a.......well......like an angry and terrified pig. The sound was deafening. Once there, my host mom held the rope attached to her snout, I held her body pinned against the side of the pen, and the neighbor pulled out a long wire from his pocket. This he proceeded to shove through the top of her snout, and out through her nostril! Of course! Now it was all clear! We were piercing Manny's nose! What pig doesn't want a fashionable, tetanus infested snout ring? Well, apparently, Mancare didn't because she was screaming bloody murder (and I never knew what bloody murder sounded like till that day)! It took a while as the neighbor kept shoving and twisting the wire every which way, finally twisting it into a loop, and cutting the ends. Mancare was not at all grateful for her new fashion accessory, and was still squealing like crazy. She didn't even say thank you! After getting the loop situated, we let her loose, and she ran into the corner and began sneezing and coughing. If you look at that picture of her, you can see the wire in her nose. It bled a lot, but the mission was successful. Climbing out was almost as much work. But somehow I managed. And of course, the first thing I did was run inside to grab my camera, so I could share this crazy adventure with you! It took me two or three days to finally figure out why they put the wire through her snout. She has been very active and restless in her pen lately, and has been knocking over walls and things, as she moves about. This is supposed to keep her from getting too worked up, as she does much of the damage with her snout, and now the wire will hit anything before her snout does, thus causing some snout pain, and keeping her from damaging anything else. Interesting. I have included the picture of Mancare sporting her newly placed nose ring, and a picture of me with my fashionable pig pen coat. Hope you got some entertainment out of this, my most recent Moldova adventure.